i cant believe eyes are tracking what im doing in uni... like tracking my progress secretly to keep a record or sth about me? oh man i think if tt's the case, i have screwed it up. HAHA! i mean its stressful and tiring the whole idea tt u must perform and be up to expectations all the time esp when u have not much interest its just hard to force sth out. give me a break. oh and this idea is scary how many more pairs of eyes are watching? geez... think i better buck up before this semester ends and tt's 2 more weeks to go. hmm i beta have a good plan for that its abit too short >< oh man! okie i will try hard and come up with some perfect plan.

i am having seconds thoughts and the more i think about it the more serious i am with the thoughts. i mean i feel that my uni schedule is way too tight in terms of the modules tt i can take and stuff and i really want to do like a lifesci minor, go on sep and must take 2 el mods and i dont want to be overly stressed up with whether i can fit in all the modules and finish them up within 4 years and doing well in all of them is also very very impt. Also i won't wan to end up being a fullfledge mugger with no space for other activities as well. i guess its for me to decide and theres still some time for me to think about it. shall track my results at the end of this sem to decide. i dont want to be stressed i want a happy life haha.

geez i gotta go back to work and focus on my master plan!

omg i think im seriously schizo LOL after reflecting more about my actions and thoughts.

look at this:

People diagnosed with schizophrenia usually experience a combination of positive (i.e. hallucinations, delusions, racing thoughts), negative (i.e. apathy, lack of emotion, poor or nonexistant social functioning), and cognitive (disorganized thoughts, difficulty concentrating and/or following instructions, difficulty completing tasks, memory problems).

oh my i have quite a few of these symptoms... and i think my thoughts are seriously getting out of control like racing non-stop totally random and i am trying so hard to control them to the extent that i may seem apathetic and emotionless and cold. and my thoughts are in such a mess that i dont know where it starts and ends?  and i have problem concentrating i get distracted so easily sometimes. like yeah what i am doing now when im suppose to sleep early. >< oh great i gotta find a way to control my randomness or just to free it totally? i guess tt would be scary... scary for myself too ><.

is it normal to start laughing out loud uncontrollably while appearing to be reading  a very dull academic journal when actly its just tt im not in the world of the journal but some lala land in my imaginations? its quite embaraasing ><

anyway had threee vaccination jabs today so im like 3 jabs braver. but my amr hurts and i cant move just wanna stone more and more and watch the clouds roll by. AHA! so peaceful :D i cant imagine it.

yeah and im home and i must sleep to survive for crazy project rushes.

yes i still wanna fly out of this country and live on the mountain top! :D

there are so many secrets in this seemingly lil innocent world tt we live in. oh great im so sick of them!

went on a random adventure around tiong bahru, zion and rivervalley area for ahem how long?40mins? on the bus. ikea is seriously too inconspicious, why cant it be located at some places which is more accessible? yep and i bought some stuff for my room :D haha and ikea is an interesting place with so many nice things. simple love their creations.

i had some random craving for breeks and lalala a random or perhaps not so random craving for outside food. and there's no good bus that would bring us from ikea to taka geez and alexandra is rly not tt far from orchard. seriously transport is not very efficient over there. and there's lots of taxi zooming around and we randomly decided to cab there. ouch erp and surcharge is no joke.

and viola we ate at breeks lol i know its exaggerating, lol cabbing just to eat breeks its the first time in my life tt i cab just to eat LOL oh and they had lots of new waiters over there. we kindda miss the guy that cant be understood. though we always had a hard time trying to process what he said, his service is much better as at least he is clear-minded and serve/take orders properly. ewww hopefully he will be back soon whoever he is LOL.

visit some of my fav places, art friend and kino :D but yeah didnt touch my pocket at all :D

thnks sya for pei-ing me and chatting w me cya realll soon~ perhaps at the upcoming gathering. gahgah and i think oct is going to turn into a month of high spending... im getting a bad hunch about it. OUCH.

gah actly nothing interesting uni is about readings, tutorials, readings, lectures and more readings. alot of self-learning esp.. and im not very used to it. lol.... esppp squinting my eyes to read the small print in an attempt of mine to be eco friendly or more wallet friendly. gah been spending abit too much recently on books, stattionery, clothes and random stuff and taxis serioussssly i shld start planning my time beta and take less cab but nus is seriously freaking far by bus... 1 hr 15 min lei its no joke and cab can fly u there in 20 min... do u see the mega jump? its like snail vs horse lol but its unsustainable so instead i shall resort to reading and squinting my eyes on the bus to make better utilisation of my precious time. and in uni u meet alot of ppl familiar faces some some unrecognisation familiar onesss...

some tutorials are rly funnn but there's this particular tut where everyone is snatching to answer qns.. and i have yet to get my chance... im not tt kind tt snatch gah itsss so damn contrieved.  LOL GRRR next time im gonna go to class early and get the first row seats. >< darnly funny right?

canteen is alkso freakingly crowded... and i realise i rly love econs and its still my fav subject here. and oh yeah im having 3 projects this sem and its alot >< goodnesss.... but my group buddies for jp studies seems rly enthu and nice to work w :D

yep and i signed up and got into yep to go philippines this dec :D yeah i will rly be looking fwd to this. the team seems to made up of rly nice ppl!

and i got my first teacher's day pressieeee i shall add it to my archives so tt i can start a museum next time.

went mayday concert very funnn :D but sadly didnt bring enough money to buy collectiblessss... gah and can u believe there's no atm at kallang stadium oh greattt. its was so packed and exciting and mayday was fab.

i must go for meditation class this thurss :D and seek enlightenment and solitude.

positive thinking worksss! :D tt's all for now  back to rush my readings

ough to get this book as recommended by cat. she said its spiritual and hopefully it will bring me back to a state of equilibirum, mentally and spiritually. been getting just abit too random and overly paranoid this yea its no good i have been trying damn hard to psycho myself positively but things aint working out as well as expected sometimes.

ending on a positive note,

had a great chat w cat (i sure do miss ur presence alot) and met up with my good old jc pals, had lotz of fun crappy, chatting and laughing w u guys today.

oh man facebook is really scaryyy ppl can stalk me and i cant believe ppl rly go and read the stuff i post, the stufff i edit, the photos and everything minor seemingly so unimpt thinggiessss and i gooogled myself  good thing i cant find myself ... secure enufff hopefully its is if u are reading this random post and u got here simply by googling me, tell me im not secure enuff k. this world is freaking me out.

and the world is also freakingly small who would have thought that someone whom i had met like a whole decade ago would appear on the newspaper next time we meet, and worst still be totally unrecognisable to me. and ended up being a topic of discussion filled w rumours and ignorant remarks w/o me realising that im related to the person, had even played w and interacted decade ago LOL. its truly amazing family ties LOL amazing or perhaps its more like pity tt it had never occured to me tt there's relation.

randomness, connectivity

THIS WORLD IS FREAKING ME OUT!

haha i read a very interesting article in the newspaper stating something about india's idea to provide electricity to more households to reduce birth rate. apparently, having electricity in more houses will allow coupls to watch more tv and other entertainment stuff to keep them away from the beds and to get them too tired at the end of the day. Perhaps sg can have EARTH day on a more frequent basis killing two birds with one stone man! as some hidden ploy! HAHA oppsss im getting more random. trying to self-entertain with my own quirky ideas.

well back to serious stuff...

uni stuff orientation orientation and more orientation here there everywhere. camping camping sleeping on ground, having insomnia because some ppl are so noisy when they sleep and when they are preparing to go to bed (slping bag i mean) and who said sleeping is peaceful?  hard ground, muscle aches and mid-sleep blood flow obstruction (a camp specific medical condition). yuckkkssss food is not bad thou.... games are more mild more to my liking.

gahhh and i did silly thing..... on wed night i was rushing off for my art class just when its time for my lesson to start. yeah man and i boarded the wrong bussssss..... i still cant differentiate 96 and 95... and its not my prob. why cant they pick no. that self-differentiate better. LOL and i ended up at buona vista! and i needed to buy my canvas from clememti ><<<<< had to waste mrt fare to get back to clementi and ended up cabbing down to my nafa. wah opp cost damn high lei time,  money, effort, mental stress, physical stress.

crazy world is freaking out and i must be mentally strong and try harder than ever to psycho myself i think i spend more effort on mental stuff than physical stuff

my new to do list:

1. meet harry porter steal his invisible cloak, so that i can disappear whenever i get sick and tired of things.

2. invent a teleporting machine, so that i can so anywhere and everywhere anytime. i have this urge and obsession with meditating on top of the mountain, w a mega powerful heater and a lift to bring me down to the meadows whenever i desire to do so. meadow :D yeah!

3. get an uber big and powerful vacuum cleaner to suck up all the stuff strewn all over my room. hopefully it wont choke while doing so

4. get brain modems and be connected wirelessly to some great physician's brain i need physics knowledge and lots of it fast.

5. stop emoing and stop being too random.. focus focus and stop procrastinating

fairy-tales; made believe

I LOVE the world!

i cant stand something that acted qiang when they are really not qiang at all and if only i didnt trust that act qiang something i would have gotten what i am capable of myself LOL and now i have nothing because something over est their ability LOL grrrrr 

oh and cinnamon melts in macs is like the best thing tt mac can ever come up with i love it so much :P